


The Adventures of Aunty Pat and Co

by Goggsy



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Team TARDIS, Yaz is the DM, and I somehow put in Thasmin, because I cannot be stopped, they play D&D
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 22:03:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17496206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goggsy/pseuds/Goggsy
Summary: Team TARDIS plays Dungeons and Dragons.





	The Adventures of Aunty Pat and Co

**Author's Note:**

> I had the idea for this after running a poll on Twitter to see who people think would be the Dungeon Master if Team TARDIS played D&D. Not enough people agreed with me, so I wrote whatever this is.

Yaz honestly believed that it would be a lot harder to get Team TARDIS to play Dungeons and Dragons. She expected them to comment about how it seemed a little redundant to play a game based on escapism when you were in a time machine that could go anywhere in all of space and time.

  
She had approached The Doctor first. She had considered her the easiest target. The Doctor was always filled with such excitement for new experiences. She just hadn’t counted on how excited she was to play. Apparently, The Doctor had met Gary Gygax before, but never actually had a chance to play the game. She was keen to rectify that.

  
Ryan was next, and he also didn’t need any convincing. Yaz suspected he was still trying to recuperate his nerd cred after Sonia had called him a fake gamer for only playing Call of Duty. Sonia didn’t even play games, she just had a knack of knowing how to get under people’s skin. This time it worked in Yaz’s favour.  
And that had left Graham, who didn’t even wait to hear an explanation of what Dungeons and Dragons was before agreeing to play. She suspected he would be up for anything if it meant he had a chance to bond with Ryan. He really was too pure for this world.

  
After a quick stop back to Sheffield for Yaz to pick up the materials they needed, they were ready to play.

  
“So,” Yaz began, “I think we’ll start by introducing your characters. Graham, want to go first?”

  
“Alright. I’m a human ranger called Bindus of Irwin. I’m the daughter of the great Stevenus of Irwin, the legendary warrior who was struck down by the dark warlock Stingus Rayus.”  
“Wait.” Ryan interrupted. “You’re playing a woman?”

  
Yaz rolled her eyes. That’s what he focused on? “It’s a fantasy game, Ryan. It’s not any weirder than you playing an elf.”

  
“Right. Yeah. Just didn’t expect it from him is all.” Ryan leant back on his chair and crossed his arms.

  
“You want to introduce your character next then, Ryan?” Yaz asked.

  
“Aight. My character is an elf mage called Tanithil Omalynn the Wise.”

  
“Are you playing a woman as well?” The Doctor asked, innocently, which made Yaz laugh.

  
“No! Tanithil is a guy.” Ryan said.

  
“Shame,” said The Doctor. “Could have had a real girl gang going on.”

  
“Doctor, who’s your character?” Yaz asked.

  
The Doctor’s eyes lit up in glee. “Aunty Pat! She’s a half-orc barbarian, famous for playing the bagpipes. She owned a nightclub before she was betrayed by her evil half-sister, Kylie.”

  
Yaz grinned. Trust the Doctor to come up with something so random. “Alright. Aunty Pat, Tanithil and Bindus. You have all separately arrived in the small town of Falandir. It’s a pretty normal farming town, except rumours have started to spread about the valley half a day’s journey west of it. An earthquake has uncovered ruins of an old castle that glows a foreboding red. Ever since then, the town has been cursed with cows running dry, crops dying and sickness spreading. So, why have you guys come here?”

  
“Well, Bindus is came to help people. She wants to honour her dad’s legacy by becoming a great adventurer, and this seemed like a good place to start.” Graham said.

  
“Tanithil is all about knowledge seeking, yeah? So he’s here to find out what’s with the red glow.” Ryan said.

  
“Nice.” Yaz nodded, scribbling some notes down in her book. She looked at the Doctor, waiting for her answer.

  
The Doctor was adorably grinning ear to ear. “Aunty Pat is location scouting for her new nightclub. This abandoned castle might be it.”

  
“Already comes with the lighting, ay Doc?” Graham added.

 

Yaz laughed. “Ok, so you three are in the tavern. What do you do?”

  
“I dramatically jump up onto the bar top.” Graham said.

  
“Ok, roll an athletics check.”

  
“That’s a d20 plus your modifier.” Ryan said, handing him the correct dice.

  
“Ok.” Graham rolled the dice. “Seven… plus two, ok nine.”

  
“You clamber onto the bar top ungracefully. The bartender, a burly woman who looks like she could break you in two yells at you.” Yaz said. “ ‘Oi get down from there’ “

  
“I ignore her and address the crowd. ‘Great patrons of Falandir! Worry not! I’m here to save you from your troubles, for I am the magnificent Bindus of Irwin, daughter of the famous Stevenus of Irwin!’ “

  
“Ok, roll for persuasion.” Yaz said.

  
“Is that the same dice?” Graham asked.

  
“Yep, and just add your persuasion modifier.” Ryan said, helpfully.

  
“Ok. 18!” Graham said. “That’s good, right?”

  
“It is!” Yaz grinned. “Despite your very inelegant start, somehow you have convinced the crowd that you can actually help them. The cheer, happy that somebody is finally taking their situation seriously.”

  
“I walk up to the bartender.” Ryan said.

  
“What can I ‘elp you with?“ Yaz said, acting as the bartender.

  
“What do you know of the ruins?“ Ryan asked.

 

“It’s been a bloody nightmare. Ever since it appeared, all sorts of bad stuff has been happening. Plus that glow makes it hard to sleep.”

  
“Does anybody know what they used to be?”

  
“Oh, I heard a couple of historians talking about it the other day. They reckon this area used to be part of some kingdom. Apparently stories about it just suddenly stop one day. Last entry was something about a giant ruby the kingdom was gifted. Might explain the red glow.”

  
“I thank her and walk away.”

  
The Doctor piped up. “I ask the bartender if the castle is for sale.”

  
“No? Why would you even want to buy a cursed castle?”

  
“I’m going to open a nightclub.” The Doctor said. “Best in the land.”

  
“What’s a nightclub?” Yaz asked.

  
“Oh. You know. A place you go at night to listen to music and drink alcohol.”

  
“So an inn?”

  
“An inn without beds, and more alcohol, and music so loud you can’t talk to each other. And all people do is dance. It’s quite fun.”  
“The bartender winks at you I’m sure it would be fun if you were there.” Yaz cursed herself as soon as the words came out of her mouth. Using the fact that they were roleplaying to flirt with The Doctor was definitely playing with fire.

  
“I wink back. That could be arranged.” The Doctor said, looking Yaz dead in the eyes.

  
Yaz felt her heart skip and she swallowed hard. She had no idea how she was going to get through this session alive.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to thank my legendary Dungeon Master for putting up with our group because the adventure that they play is based off of the last adventure we played, and it was just this chaotic. So, yeah, thanks Susan.


End file.
